Submitted by: Josh T， CQ University
Materials needed: Dental floss, toothpicks, candy, fake teeth.

Objectives:

SWBAT:

1. understand, discuss, and demonstrate the various competing methodologies of applied Dental theory
2. wax eloquent on the origin, evolution, and various contemporary manifestations of dental floss
3. apply their knowledge in everyday life, at least once a day, and enlighten others to the way of the floss.

Warm up

Begin by congratulating class for excelling in recent lessons. As a reward for their excellence, students will be given a copious quantity of chewy, sticky candy, preferably some reasonable facsimile of Now and Laters, or at the very least something that will remain embedded in their gums for the remainder of the lesson. Teacher circulates, using either a look of pity or the threat of a failing grade to ensure all students eat the candy.

Introduction

Have students pair up and breathe heavily on each other. Of the remaining conscious, pick out a few and show the rest of the class their candy-filled teeth. After the laughter has subsided, initiate a discussion with the class on tactics for the removal of food morsels from one’s teeth.

Define “halitosis”. Explain to the students that as they passively absorb this lecture, their gums are becoming festering rot, rendering their dragon breath ever more fetid thanks to “gingivitis”, the technical term for you’re not going to get laid.

Presentation

Inform students that evidence shows prehistoric cave dwellers used tools to remove the raw meat from their fangs before attempting courtship. These stratagems continued to exist unchanged until January of 1377 A.D, wherein medieval feudal society witnessed a major paradigm shift in oral hygiene techniques when the method of using toothpicks was replaced by a the first recorded instance of flossing when a crazy peasant who was trying to hang himself with a thread failed, accidentally dislodging the small hunk of rat meat between his right anterior bicuspid and his lower major molar that had been driving him mad. The peasant spread news of his discovery, achieving momentary fame and receiving accolades from the Pope himself before catching Black Death. It has been said that Johannes Gutenberg got the idea for the printing press while flossing his incisors, ushering in the Renaissance.

Next, using props or student volunteers, demonstrate the inherent inferiority of the antiquated “toothpick” method. Guide students to an inductive explanation of toothpickery’s lack of range, tendency to lodge food further into crevices, and the “backfiring” of a toothpick tip breaking off in between teeth. Relate a horror story or two about young children horribly disfigured by hazardous toothpicks.

Playing the theme song to 2001: A Space Odyssey and, using the floss, expunge the food from the props with dramatic flare. Coolly nod during the applause.

Practice

Give students their own cut of floss. Show them how to wrap the floss around the finger and thumb of each hand, creating a spool to release unbefouled floss to free their teeth from decades of zhu rou, la jiao and fan.

Application

Initiate a discussion to raise students’ awareness of the importance of the context of flossing—after eating as opposed to prior to eating. Afterward, stoke a debate among students over whether dental floss should be applied before or after toothbrushing. Explain that among Western Dental philosophers, this remains a raging debate.

Evaluation

If students can’t pick this up, they’re hopeless.

Reflection

To kill the rest of class time, have students answer the following essay prompt.

Dental Floss: Is there anything it can’t do?

Extension

Tell students that with luck, and a lot of flossing their gums’ profuse bleeding will gradually cease. At this time they can resume flossing with the goal of eliminating the horrid stench that wafts from their mouths. At the end of the semester, the instructor will personally conduct a halitosis check that will determine whether or not they pass.